The judges' decision is final......

I realise that most people read this blog purely to find out what Small Dog is up to, but just in case some of you are actually interested in miniatures, you might like to pop over to my Miniature Christmas blog and enter the November Giveaway.  Just follow the instructions and you could be the lucky recipient of a seasonal kit.

Now.

As mentioned in the blog post, the winner will be drawn at random from all the entries by Small Dog.  

Questions have been raised as to her impartiality, but I can assure you that she will take her duties very seriously.

OK, so I know that last year she accidentally ate several of the name slips before we could stop her, and the winning slip had to be prised from her clenched jaws .......

.......... and dried out before we could announce the winner, but this year things will be different and I can promise everyone that the entire process will be carefully monitored and properly adjudicated.

She has had a stern lecture, and given that she's up for Employee of the Month (again) I'm sure she'll comply with all of the rules and regulations.

It only remains for me to wish all entrants 'Good Luck!'

Little Black Dress.....

Small Dog is well known as a dedicated follower of fashion and erstwhile snappy dresser, which is probably why my friend Debbie  shared this with me today....

Never averse to a bit of bling, Small Dog is entranced, and is currently writing her "krissmus lizst."

I've seen some amazing dog costumes on the internet, but the ones available  HERE  really take the (dog) biscuit!

Among my favourites are these....

Sadly though, our budget for Small Dog's krissmus present doesn't extend to $95 for a harness, although I'm sure I could run up something similar for her using an old jumper sleeve and remnants from my extensive stash of outrageous fabrics, feathers and sparkly trimmings......

She SHALL go to the ball.......

Printer update......

The printer and I are still not on speaking terms.  It's sulking and keeps balefully blinking its status lights at me.  Hopefully by the time I need to prepare another complicated print run it will have repented its wayward behaviour and be back to its normal helpful self.

However, in the meantime, I received this email this morning........

 

Dear Morris,

Thank you for contacting Canon Technical Support.

We are sorry to hear that you are experiencing problems with your PIXMA MP980.

Since your printer is connected through USB we would advise you to try the following things:

-try to connect the USB to a different port

-try replacing the USB cable

If you continue having trouble, please do not hesitate contacting us again.

Your sincerely,

Bastiaan de Wit

Canon Services & Support



Now.

There are several reasons I'm unhappy with this response so in the unlikely event that Canon Services and Support keep tabs on what their customers are saying about them, I'm going to clearly delineate them here.

First.  My name is not Morris. The tech help form I completed asked for my first and last names, which I provided.  I'll answer to Sandra, or Ms Morris, but not a brusque Morris.

Second.  I do not have a Pixma MP980.  I have a Pixma iP4500, which is nowhere near.  How incompetent do they have to be to get that basic piece of information so badly wrong? I've Googled the MP980, in case it was generically similar to mine but it's an all singing, all dancing wireless all-in-one with built in 3.5" colour TFT screen.  Looks a nifty bit of kit and is probably far superior to my lowly iP4500 which can only print.

Sometimes.

Third, fourth and fifth.  I had already tried both of the suggested solutions, a fact which I shared with Canon in the box marked "what have you already tried to solve the problem"? Also, since the printer they think I have is a wireless model, why would they think it's connected via USB?  

As for not hesitating to contact them again, in the entirely likely event that Mr de Wit's suggestions did NOT solve the problem, (and since they didn't when I had ALREADY tried them) I see absolutely no point in doing so. 

Sheesh.....!

*mutter.... bloody tech support..... mutter.... bunch of idiots.......mutter *
 

Printer says "NO"!.........

I've just spent the entire morning trying to persuade my printer (with which I've had a really good-natured, trusting relationship up till now) to print a multi-page double sided document.

It will happily print off all of the single sided sheets but when I collate and reload them for printing the second side, it gets part way through, spits out a half-printed sheet and starts again.

FROM THE BEGINNING!

This has resulted in about 50 wasted sheets of high quality paper this morning, as the printer interface has no way to enable me to pick up printing where it left off, so I have loads of half-printed sheets, some single sided, some double sided and no possibility of filling in the blanks.

I am SO FRUSTRATED I could spit.

I've tried all the usual stuff.  Switching the printer off and on again.  Switching my laptop off and on again.  Closing down the document and re-opening it.  Re-installing printer drivers. Plugging it into a different USB port.

All to no avail.

I've been onto the Canon support site and submitted a help request, which they assure me will be answered with 5 days.

FIVE DAYS!

I need that document printed NOW.

There is one manual solution to the problem but it will take me ages to set up, and what's the bloody point of having a printer that can't print more than a few sheets before having a mental breakdown?  Or giving me one.

*heartfelt sigh*

So, the low-tech solution is that I will have to take the document and instead of having a single 20 page booklet file, I will have to split it into groups of 4 pages.  This might sound like a dawdle but trust me.... it isn't, as I will have to get all the double sided page numbers in exactly the right order.  For example, the first sheet will have page numbers 1 and 20 on one side, and 2 and 19 on the other.  I will then have to ensure that I print them all out in the right order and get each sheet loaded in exactly the right way.  I will also have to do 5 separate printing runs instead of each one and hover over the printer every step of the way to identify and deal with problems as they arise.

The potential for chaos is epic. 

Just one page in the wrong printing order and it will all go spectacularly wrong and very possibly result in the printer being heaved out through the window.  My patience is stretched exceedingly thin at the moment anyway, so having to do all this additional messing about is not helping my equilibrium one bit.....  

Soggy Sunday.......

It feels as if it's been raining forever!  We tried to dodge the downpours earlier while down on the seafront to give Small Dog a bracing walk.  There were massive puddles everywhere so she was quickly saturated, as were we!

The sea was really rough, and practically indistinguishable from the sky.... both a threatening shade of dark grey.  Definitely NOT inviting.  However, despite the atrocious weather, there were some hardy souls windsurfing and kite surfing.  I don't think that even a full body wetsuit would protect them from the cold.... and it must have been VERY cold in the sea with the windchill factor.

Back home in the warm and dry, it's felt particularly Sundayish today, and apart from trying to make a decision on decor for the shop I've been completely uninspired to do anything very much.  I've got a backlog of paperwork and filing which I really should tackle before it gets out of hand, as well as a whole boxful of tiny toys to list on the website.  I have made a start on that though, so I can allow myself a small feeling of satisfaction.

I do hope this ennui wears off by tomorrow as I have a to do list of gargantuan proportions to tackle.......

Special delivery.....

We're quite excited as later today we're expecting a special delivery.  For the first time in over a decade, and in spite of the fact that we live less than half a mile from a huge Tesco Extra store, we're having our grocery shop delivered.

How exciting is that?*


PP discovered a whole bunch of online voucher codes on the internet which knocked nearly 40% off our shopping bill, but only on orders for delivery.  In these cash-strapped times that's not to be sniffed at, plus we're liberated from the soul-destroying 2-hour trudge round the store, packing it all into the car, unpacking it all again afterwards....

It's not my favourite use of what usually ends up being most of an afternoon.

In other news, if you pop over to the Miniature Christmas blog there are some newly released festive toy kits on the website, as well as several new deluxe and shabby chic toy dolls.

I've also found time to update progress on La Mignonette where I've been tiling the ground floor, with mixed results.  I'm cautiously hopeful I'll get it finished today, barring major problems.

How likely is that?#

Best go and get on then.

However in the meantime, because I've got nothing better to do, here's a random photo of Small Dog in her basket last night.  She was snoring loudly at the time.....

*well probably, admittedly, not very but I don't get out much and have to get my kicks where I can......

#well, probably, admittedly VERY likely, given that no two tiles are exactly the same size and therefore inevitable discrepancies have multiplied exponentially across the pattern.

Anatomy of a house viewing......

Back in the dim and distant past, selling your home was relatively simple.

You chose an estate agent, had a For Sale board nailed to the fence, and sat back waiting for the offers to flood in.

Nowadays, we're bombarded with television programmes telling us exactly what to do, banging on about 'kerb appeal' and the importance of presenting your house in its best possible light to maximise your chances of getting top dollar.  

No longer is it enough to simply ensure the beds are made and zip round with the hoover.

Oh no.

You have to ruthlessly de-personalise every room then 'dress' it to appeal to the neutral-loving house buyer, who, naturally, has been watching all the same TV programmes telling THEM what to look out for in a desirable home. 

We've got into a little routine which we implement before each viewing.

Well.... I say 'little'....

It's anything but and it takes hours.

I won't bore you with the details but it starts with dusting and hoovering and ends with plumping up cushions before we slump, exhausted into a chair (NOT any of the ones with artfully plumped cushions).

Of course, Small Dog generally has her own ideas as to what constitutes a well-presented room and is always keen to contribute her own doggy brand of help.

If I've carefully made up her basket with neatly folded blankys, she considers it doesn't look lived in and will spend several minutes digging them all up and/or pulling them out onto the floor.

If the fire is lit she considers that no fire is complete without a dog sprawled full-length in front of it.

If she has to go outside, (which she invariably does, about five minutes before viewers are due to arrive) she will come back in trailing leaves and general garden debris behind her and if I'm too slow to intercept her, will take up residence (leaves and all) on one of the recently plumped cushions.

As a result, we've learnt that Small Dog and house viewings are best kept apart.  She seems  incapable of grasping the fact that people don't come to the house purely to see her and will go to extreme lengths to give them the greeting she thinks they deserve.  This generally results in her transforming herself into a wriggling, squirming, whimpering bundle of fur desperately trying to escape from either PP's or my arms in order to wrap herself around people's feet.

So now, five minutes before a viewing, PP takes Small Dog off down the road for a long walk while I show people round.  Happily this compromise meets with SD's approval and supersedes any notion of staying at home and being ignored.

As to the actual viewings themselves, it never ceases to amaze me how people will ask the strangest questions which bear no relation to either the house or its environs.  It also seems to be 'de rigeur' to remain absolutely poker-faced throughout, giving absolutely nothing away.  Some people have been so deadpan I almost felt it necessary to check to see if they had a pulse.

There have been a few people who've been a joy to show round, who have deigned to smile at the picture of Small Dog in the study, or show interest in what goes on in the workroom.  Or who have answered MY questions with good humour and grace rather than with suspicion and prevarication.

The process is undoubtedly stressful and extremely wearing, but I suppose everyone who is undertaking a house move has to go through it. 

However, we haven't even passed the first (of many) hurdles yet.......

*sigh*