What on earth is THAT....?!

I've bought a wig off Ebay for our Halloween party tonight. 


Don't know what I was thinking...... it was a triumph of hope over expectation.

In the listing photo it looked fantastic.  Described as Morticia Black Widow Witch Sorceress Wig Halloween the photo showed a fantastic creation with glossy black and red tendrils reminiscent of Medusa.

I was convinced it would instantly transform me into a sultry ravishing creature...

Ha!

The Ebay listing WOULD have been bang on, had it described the wig as "Flat Matted Rat's Nest Dragged Through A Hedge Backwards".

I spent an hour last night trying to get it to even vaguely resemble the photo on the pack, with the aid of half a can of hairspray.  If it wasn't flammable before (which it was) it will go up like a rocket if I even get within a foot of a candle flame tonight.

I've even had a go it with a pair of nail scissors, which, if I'm honest, hasn't improved it any.

*sigh*

Anyway, here's what it should look like.  

Needless to say the wig looks nothing like that, and I look nothing like the model.  Even if I was photoshopped to within an inch of my life I wouldn't look anything like her.  If I'm lucky I might just carry off a moderately successful resemblance to Danny La Rue.

Don't even get me started on the false eyelashes.  I had a trial run with them earlier and Small Dog nearly had a conniption fit when she saw me.

I don't expect to survive the evening with even a modicum of dignity intact, but hopefully at least everyone else will look equally hilarious.

Photos may (or may not) be forthcoming in the fullness of time.....