I countered that Southern Water had replaced the meter around 18 months ago, but he merely shrugged and said he had to check it out.
He had another high-vis mate with him, and in short order they'd cordoned off the footpath and started to dig it up.
Due to elfin safety issues, they had to put up various signs and heavy duty barriers, all of which they then had to move so that we could get the car out to go grocery shopping. They were still there when we got back, but the workforce had doubled from 2 to 4, and in addition to the first big work van, there was a second big work van and all four high-vis men were standing around a sizable hole, hands in pockets, staring dolefully into it.
As we were unloading shopping bags from the car I overheard one of them, who by then was lying prone on the pavement with his head and shoulders in the hole, saying that the job was, and I quote "a bloody nightmare",
So we let them get on with it, glancing outside occasionally to check on progress, or the lack of it.
After four hours, they suddenly disappeared, leaving all the elfin safety stuff in place around the hole, which had been filled in, presumably awaiting the tarmac team.
We thought nothing of it, until we tried to run some water in the kitchen. A gurgling spurt of muddy water, then nothing. A quick check on the other mains water taps revealed the same problem.
We had no water.
No toilets could be flushed.
No kettles filled and boiled.
No washing up attempted.
So PP called the emergency number on the elfin safety barrier and relayed the problem to a chap who said he'd contact the original squad to get them back.
Time passed, during which, after a long journey south, my daughter arrived for a festive visit and due to lack of water couldn't freshen up.
She helpfully popped to Tesco to buy 15 litres of water so that we could still make tea, wash up etc. By now we were a bit pissed off that the workmen hadn't let us know before they packed up and left, just to check that the water supply was OK.
Eventually, another Southen Water operative showed up (not one of the original crew) who tried the kitchen tap and verified that indeed, we didn't have any water. *eye rolling sigh*
He went out to the hole in the pavement and set about the meter with a long metal pole, presumably trying to beat it into submission. After about an hour, he admitted defeat, and advised us that the mains water supply along the pipe was absolutely 100% fine, but the spur off the meter to our house was, not to put too fine a point on it, buggered.
He said we needed a plumber and that he would arrange for one to come out to us.
By then we were getting worried.
What if the pipe from the footpath to our house had to be replaced?
Would they have to dig up our drive?
Who would have to pay?
But mainly.... WHEN would our water supply be restored???
At about 8pm, a plumber arrived, all the way from Rochester, over 40 miles away. He too confirmed that we had no water. By that time, if I'd had it mansplained to me what I already clearly knew Just. One. More. Time I could feel the red mist descending.
He was a personable chap, and said he thought he knew what the problem was, and that he have to replace our mains stopcock under the sink, plus another bit of pipework, the need for which was obscure. It might have been the reciprocating flange valve but don't quote me on that.
So we cordoned off the kitchen with our (by now very late) dinner half-cooked, and retired to the relative safety of the sitting room, while he trudged in and out to his van, and hammered stuff under the sink.
Eventually, an hour or so later, he announced he was finished, and showed us the source of the problem. A large chunk of grit had been inadvertently flushed through the mains supply to our house, and become stuck, resulting in no water.
We all stood round and looked at the offending piece of masonry for a while, then he apologised for all the water up the wall and below the under sink cupboard. He'd tried to mop it up but short of dismantling the entire unit there was no way to get get to it. He suggested leaving the cupboard empty with both doors open for a few days to allow the space to dry out. He proudly displayed the new stopcock and reciprocating flange valve thingy, thanked us for the tea and chocolate bar, and disappeared into the night.
During the entire fiasco, a chap from Southern Water rang us every hour to check on progress, which was mildly mollifying. He repeatedly assured us that it would be fixed and only sounded a little bit more disappointed each time we relayed the lack of progress. Nevertheless he was with us every step of the way, which I felt was only fair, seeing as how it was Southern Water sub-contractors who had caused the problem in the first place.
We now have water again. Granted, the force of it from the cold tap in the kitchen is fierce enough to blow your hand off, something I'd mentioned to the plumber before he left, but he was adamant that the stopcock should remain wide open and we'd just have to remember to turn the tap only a little bit to avoid potential loss of digits.
Next time this happens (and there will undoubtedly be a next time) we will hold one of the high-vis opeatives hostage, fiercely guarded by Small Dog, until they can demonstrate that their works haven't caused any problems in the house.
We are also mulling over whether to complain to Southern Water, because IF, as was suspected, we've had a leak originating from our water meter, then we've been paying for water which we haven't used. If it had been leaking since it was replaced over 18 months ago, then a significant amount of water could have been lost, which we will have been billed for. Which most certainly isn't cricket.
PS - Incidentally, I acknowledge that it's probably Way Too Much Information, but our plumber's underwear of choice was by Tommy Hilfiger.
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