Cross purposes....

 Scene - It is a mid-December afternoon and the skies are grey and full of foreboding.  It's not cold enough for snow, although it is chilly, so we are likely due yet more rain.

In the sitting room, the Christmas tree lights are twinkling and the fire is lit..... the room is full of cosy warmth and I am sitting on the sofa, notebook on my lap, idly flicking through TV channels looking for a festive film.

Small Dog enters....

SD *perkily* Ah... yuve litt the fyr.  Thatts gude. Ai mite just hav a littel liy daown on the harthrugg.

Me:*warmly* Feel free SD. I didn't think you'd be long after hearing me light the fire.

Silence, except for the occasional crack of a log in the woodburner.  SD eventually gets too hot, and retires to her blanket on the sofa, taking time to carefully scratch it up and arrange it to her liking.

SD: *enquiringly*  Whot ar yue doen?

Me:*distractedly* Hmmm?  I'm writing a list.

SD:*curiously*  A lisst.  A krissmus lisst??  A lisst of delishus treets fore me???

Me:*crushingly* No.  Not that kind of list.

SD*disgruntedly* Hmph. Wel ai hoap ai do gett krissmus treets.  Mai stocken remanes disapoyntinlie emptie.

She stares pointedly at the Christmas stocking, hanging from the mantlepiece, emblazoned with her name and an embroidered Yorkshier Terrior.

Me:*placatingly* OK... if you must know, I'm writing a list of projects for next year.  Miniature ones.... I might do a few valedictory kit projects.

SD:*baffled* Valley Dick Torie???  Whose he?

Me:*patiently* It means a sort of goodbye.

SD:*bamboozled* Gudebie??  Whare ar yue goen?  Yoove onlie jusst litt the fyer.

Me:*calmly* Not that sort of goodbye SD.  It's just that I'm gradually winding down the business. I want to retire, like you and PP.

SD:*grandly* Ho yus.... reetyrmint is knott to badd. Allthoe ai do miss knot bein yore Hedd of Markitten & Komewnikashun.  And bein Emploiyee of the Munth.  I reememb....

Me:*interrupting* Yes, yes SD.  You were an excellent member of the management team and your input was always valued.

SD:*dreamily* Ai maid sum ecksillent sujestjuns abowt biskitts.

Me:*grudgingly* Yes, well.  Anyway... I'm just making some notes about a few final kits that I'd really like to work on for next year.  In fact SD.... one of them is a paean to you.

SD:*incredulously* A PEE ON!!!  Luke... thatt was a wun-off acksident and it wudent hav hapinned if yude lett me owt kwicker.

Me:*placatingly* Oh SD.  Not that!  A paean is a creative work expressing enthusiastic praise.  It's a tribute to you in recognition of all your many years of dedication and hard work.  I've been thinking about it for a while and I think I've hit on just the thing.

SD:*mollified* Ah... THATT kined of peeon.  Why dident yue sai so then.  *thoughtfully* a tribewt to me.  Liek a sort of prise.... or a *hopefully* treet?

Me:*hesitantly* Well yes... I suppose so.  In a way.  It will commemorate you and your invaluable contribution to Tower House Dolls.  It's just an idea at the moment... I'll have to design it and make up a sample first. I'm just making a few preliminary working sketches if you'd like to take a look.

But SD has settled down on her supersoft blanket and is already fast asleep. 

The End