A Pantomime in 3 Acts....

The sorry dearth of posts this past month is due to a lot of stuff going on... pretty much none of it good. 

The latest comedy of errors involved me falling straight down from standing on the sofa, trying to put up some Christmas decorations.   PP was out at a diabetic course and I was home alone and aiming to totally Christmasfy the house.  I'd been doing quite well too, until I took it into my daft head to stand on the sofa.  I don't remember exactly what happened, except I'd turned to get down for some sellotape and the next thing I knew I was literally screaming in agony on the floor, from searing pain in my foot.  After what seemed like an age, I managed to calm down, then crawled through into the study to retrieve my phone and haul myself up onto my office chair on wheels.  Knowing that I wouldn't be able to drive, as I was 100% sure I'd broken my right foot, I arranged for PP's sister to pick her up from her class, swallowed some heavy duty painkillers and waited it out till she got home.

That was 10 days ago and to cut a long story short, I'm now still wearing a huge Frankenstein's monster boot waiting for what turned out to be a badly sprained foot to heal. 

Anyhoo, that sorry tale is not the point of this post.  Back in the autumn, while still delerious from the after effects of Covid, I took it into my daft head (this seems to be a recurring theme) to re-decorate our sitting room, which was last done 11 years ago. 

Over several weeks, we wallpapered and panelled one wall, and painted the other three.  I painstakingly hacked the beach pebbles off the fireplace over the course of a  whole month, and replaced the pebbles with little white tiles.  It's lain, ungrouted, since mid-November, but with Christmas just around the corner, and house guests arriving on Christmas Eve, I decided this morning that I was just going to get on and grout the bugger.

Big boot and all! 

And so I lay our scene.....

Scene 1

Sandra starts laying out dust sheets and newspapers around the fireplace.  This takes some time as she is wearing a huge boot and can only move slowly, taking care not to fall over yet again.

PP: (Perfectionist Partner... for it is she) * enquiringly*  Sandra.  What ARE you doing?

Me: *flatly* I'm going to grout the fireplace.  It should only take an hour.

PP: * flabberghastedly* WHAT?  That's ridiculous!  Leave it till after Christmas.  Honestly, nobody will notice.

Me: * determinedly* I will notice.  It's been like that for weeks now and I just want it done.

PP: *resignedly* Oh well, if you're sure.  

Scene 2

In the kitchen, Sandra stands by the sink, surrounded by kitchen untensils.  She is bashing something in a bucket, muttering all the while.

PP: *carefully* What are you doing? 

Me: *frenziedly* It's got lumps in it.  The sodding grout.  It's lumpy.  And it's too thin.

PP: *quietly* Okaaaayyyy.  

She peers in the bucket.

PP: *enquiringly* Is that my potato masher? 

Me: *defiantly* Yes.  Yes it is.  I need to get the lumps out.  Is it a problem?

Sandra returns to forcefully wielding the masher in the bucket of slop.

PP: *calmingly* No. Not at all.  It's not my favourite masher.

PP quietly retires... gently closing the door.

Scene 3 

Sandra is kneeling awkwardly on the floor, her big boot messing with her balance.  She's covered in grout from fingertips to elbows and is using a grout float to spread the still lumpy slurry over the tiles.

PP: *cheerily*  How's it going?  It looks amazing!

Me: *witheringly* No it bloody doesn't look amazing.  It looks a %#!*ing mess!  It's still too thin AND lumpy and I've put more powder in and strained it through the sieve and....

PP: *interrupting* The sieve.  The kitchen sieve?

Me: *glaringly: Yes the sodding kitchen sieve!!!

She turns to look forlornly at the fireplace, as the lumpy sludgy liquid oozes out from between the tiles and forms a gloopy puddle on the hearth.

PP: *gettting ready to make a run for it* Is now a good time to tell you all the bits you've missed? 

The curtain falls on bedlam...

Best laid plans #2

At exactly this time, for the past two years, I've been elbow deep in Advent Box kits, frantically rushing to complete 25 different themed kits.

In 2022 the theme was Fairy Tales, in 2023 it was Circus & Animals.  I thoroughly enjoyed the development stages, designing and creating all the little toy and doll kits then working out how to best make them as kits. Actually making up each of the 500 individual kits was somewhat less enjoyable, but seeing each boxful gradually coming together was incredibly satisfying.

Both times it all went right to the wire... because they were Advent kits, they all had to be delivered well in time for December 1st, so they had to be posted out mid-November.  Earlier for international orders.

On December 1st last year, as I lay hyperventilating in a darkened room, I vowed, never, ever again. And I have been as good as my word.  The past few months have been difficult to say the least.  In September we both had Covid, the effects of which are still being felt.  I've undergone a series of infusions to treat my Crohn's Disease, which have also had significant side effects.  Now PP has another health hurdle to overcome, which may well knock all the rest into a cocked hat.

However, while recovering from Covid, back in late September, I picked up one of my many languishing miniature projects, with a view to actually completing it.  The project in question is a Mignonette Doll Presentation Box, in the style of those wondrous creations from the late 19th century.....

An example of an original 19th century presentation box

They were filled with elaborate costumes, hats and accessories

These boxes are something of an obsession for me and over the decades I've made many, in all shapes, sizes and themes.  Fifteen years ago I even produced a complete home workship kit, which was a major mission in itself.

However, the one I'm currently working on is particularly lovely.  It is currently being filled with many miniature delights including a tiny dressed doll named Belle, with a selection of costumes and accessories.

While sorting through all the materials and components, newly discovered in boxes in my Tardis-like workroom, it occurred to me that I probably had enough of everything to make up just 10 kits.... and the idea was conceived. 

 Last month I posted this on my Sandra Morris Dolls FB page....

As is the way of these things, I have been somewhat overtaken by recent events, and have decided to postpone release of the kits till the New Year, to enliven the damp, dank, dark days of January and February.  

I have still to finish my own box, and I want to actually enjoy the process, rather than having to rush to complete it in the next two weeks.  There are many more things I want to add to it, over and above what I've already made.  So, despite the delay, I'm confident that the project will exceed expectations.

I've also been dressing some lovely little toy dolls for La Mignonette, my French doll shop, which underwent some major renovations last year and is in desperate need of a re-stock.  I may make some extra dolls, which will also be offered for sale alongside the presentation box kit.   

When the presentation box kits are ready, I will post the all details here and also send out a newsletter.  If you received details of my Advent Boxes in previous years, then you are already on my mailing list.  If you're not sure if you are, and want to receive notification of these kits, just message me with your email address (via the Contact Form on the right) and I'll check, then add you if you're not already there.

Anyway, this afternoon I'm working on designing the little kits for all of Belle's hats, to accompany her different costumes.  The sun is currently streaming into my workroom and over the weekend I tidied it up (yet again) so that it's an inviting space in which to create.

Best go and get on then..... 😊

Best laid plans.....

This time last week, PP and I returned from a long planned special holiday, in honour of her milestone birthday next week.  We had a glorious time and enjoyed every single minute, despite some unexpected glitches and challenges.

24 hours after we got home, I started to feel unwell.  On a whim I took a Covid test.....

Despite being vaccine boosted to the gills, and after 4  1/2 years of successfully avoiding it, I've tested positive for Covid.  I've been able to get antivirals, which I've taken for the past 5 days, and which have most definitely made a big difference to the course of the infection.  Last weekend I was really poorly, but the antivirals have really helped.  Unfortunately, I've had to suspend all my other medications for the duration of the Paxlovid treatment, which has caused other issues,  plus I'm still testing positive, but I am feeling better day by day, albeit two steps forward, one step back.  I'm also absolutely, completely, overwhelmingly exhausted.  Just having a morning shower is a debilitating exercise which takes ages to recover from. 

Poor PP hasn't been so lucky.  She didn't test positive till Monday, two days after me, and due to her cancer surgery she can't have antivirals.  As she has no spleen she has no infection resistance so all this week she's been really poorly too.  

Another unintended consquence is that I can't complete my course of biologic infusions as scheduled.  I had just one left in the sequence on Monday, but it's been cancelled.  I'll have to wait at least 5 days following a negative test before I can re-book it, and ideally I will have to have the final infusion within 3 weeks from Monday.  So the clock is ticking, adding another layer of stress to an already stressful situation. 

With both of us under the weather, PP particularly so, her impending birthday celebrations have also been put on hold.

Honestly, buggrit doesn't even come close! 

Crazy crochet lady.....

Back in what passed for our summer, I wrote about my burgeoning love affair with crochet.  Having finally cracked the crochet code, my enthusiasm knows no bounds and I'm now on square number 91 of my very first 100 square blanket.

Notice one very important word in that last sentence..... 'first'.

I'm already beginning to feel bereft at the thought of finishing my first blanket.  I shall miss settling down of an evening to hook a square or two, sorting and organising the gorgeous yarn colours, carefully labelling each completed square and laying it in gently in a little organza bag along with its 10 labelled neighbours.

Granted, I still have 10 squares to go, then I have to block them, sew them together, then make the border, but the end is in sight and I'm feeling twitchy.

So I have already lined up my next TWO crochet projects.  Another granny square blanket using a floral pattern, and a small laptop blanket with a flowerpress theme.  At this rate the house will be snowed under with colourful, handmade blankets, which, to me, is in no way a problem! 

As we slide into autumn, I normally experience a definite dip in my mood, and this year, for many reasons, will be no different, so I need to have a tranche of 'projects' lined up, so watch this space.... 

I'm hooked....

Long term readers will know that I am prone to 'enthusiasms' in various guises.  Earlier this year I embraced dressmaking, with mixed success.  I always have various craft projects in progress... for example I'm just about to experiment with mandala dot painting, which is supposed to endgender a calm and meditative state. 

*cough*

I'm reasonably proficient in lots of different crafts, but the one I have NEVER been able to master, despite multiple attempts over many years is crochet.

I think I'm quite a good knitter.  I can decipher complicated patterns. I can knit Arran, Fair Isle, Intarsia etc.  My grannie taught me when I was quite young and I took to it straight away.  She also tried to teach me to crochet but I could never do it.  A simple chain, yes, but anything more elaborate completely escaped me. 

It doesn't help that I'm left handed.  However, for some weird reason, I simply cannot get my head around crocheting with my left hand.

Last month I decided to tackle my inability to crochet and watched eleventy hundred You Tube videos on simple crochet for beginners.  I bought a cheap set of crochet hooks from Amazon and using wool from my knitting stash, spent many infuriating hours trying to get further than a simple chain.  I decided to make a granny square, which seems to be a common goal for newbie hookers.

There followed many more frustrating hours, laboriously hooking double and treble clusters, always ending in having to rip it all out and start again.  But at one point, something  miraculously'clicked' and I suddenly understood what I was trying to do.  My first granny square was hardly a triumph.  It was riddled with mistakes and was only nominally square, but I felt as though I'd conquered Everest.

A week later I'd bought a pack of yarn to make a granny square blanket like this....

That's 100 squares using 18 different colours, plus the border.  

Too ambitious for a fledgling hooker?  Time will tell, although I'm already on square no. 37 so not too shabby. 

TBC.....

Still here....

Yikes.  Over 6 weeks since my last post, during which A LOT has happened.

Not all of it good.

Having two warring autoimmune conditions, constantly at each other's throats, is wearing to say the least.  Caught in the middle there is little I can do except try to placate both factions.

Earlier this year, following extensive investigations, my Colitis diagnosis was changed to Small Bowel Chron's Disease.  Same shit (literally), different disease.  Over the past 10 years, the MIS-diagnosis meant that I've been on medications which have failed to have any discernible impact on the condition.  I've said no end of times that they've made no difference, and have just got on with trying to manage a disease which has made my life a complete misery. 

Despite several emergency hospital admissions over the years, during which I've been patched up then sent home, with promises of further investigations, nothing proactive in the way of a long term treatment plan has happened.  

In desperation, late last year I got my MS nurse involved, to poke my IBD team, who I felt, with some justification, were, quite frankly, pants.  Within a few weeks I had appointments for yet another colonoscopy, small bowel MRI and no end of blood tests, the end result of which showed I had Ileitis and SB Crohn's. 

Since then, things have moved only slightly less glacially, until in a fit of pique, I read the riot act.  Further  recent blood tests showed my inflammatory markers were through the roof and finally, FINALLY, after 10 years, I now have a proper treatment plan.

While that is most definitely A. Good. Thing, I'm moving into uncharted territory, as I have been approved to start on a biologic called Vedolizumab.  Due to my MS, I can't have any of the front line biologics, which can have a disastrous effect on MS by accelerating demyelination.  Obviously, they can't treat one disease, only to make the other one worse.  I'm doing lots of research, and due diligence, and Vedo is one of the few biologics which are suitable for patients with MS.  It's not without its challenges, and side effects, but it has the major advantage of being gut-specific, so although it will act as an immunosuppressant in my gut, I shouldn't fall prey to the risks of infection from a systemic treatment, which affects the whole body.

Pending more tests, I should be able to have my first of three loading doses by IV infusion in the next month.  I'll have to spend several hours in hospital for each one, to check I don't have any adverse reactions.  After the loading doses, I'll self-inject every two weeks as maintenance.  Fingers crossed it works.

The die is cast....

Having perused eleventy hundred laptops, I finally came to a decision and ordered one which will hopefully fit the bill.  It arrived the other day but it took several more before I plucked up the courage to open the box and actually switch the thing on.

So far, so trepidatious.

It's running Windows 11 which I already know I don't like.  I might try to push on through my antipathy, or I might see if I can install Classic Shell over the top of the messy thing.

The touchpad is way too sensitive.... the slightest touch sends the cursor batshit crazy all over the place, so I need to sort that.

It's also running Edge, which I loathe even more than Windows 11, so I've already set Google Chrome as my default browser, plus I've installed my email program of choice and after a few false starts managed to get all my email accounts coming in.  Other than that I haven't actually installed any programs yet, or attempted to introduce it to my belligerent printer, which is unlikely to go well.

I'm writing this on my old laptop, which predictably, having got wind of the usurper, is sort of behaving itself, although the trackpad is dead and it takes many minutes to persuade it to open anything.  It'll take a while to transfer stuff I want or need onto the new one, so there will be a strange interregnum period as that gradually happens.

Now I just need to work out how to get the printer to put aside its many prejudices and contemplate changing its precarious allegiance to the new laptop.

*sigh*

Say what now...?

If my levels of bamboozlement were sky high with the mysteries of dressmaking, they're positively stratospheric with researching a replacement laptop.

My basic needs are relatively simple.  A decent processor, loads of RAM and a large amount of storage.

Then there's the things I'd like but aren't absolutely essential.  For example a keyboard with a separate numeric keypad.  A non-glare screen.  Touch-typist friendly keys.

Then there's things I'd like which have been rendered obsolete by the passage of time since I bought my current, ailing laptop.

A CD/DVD drive.  Apparently they've long gone the way of the floppy disk.  A memory card reader.  Surely these aren't completely passé too?  I can compensate for the lack of both of these by adding peripherals, but they used to be standard.

Then there's the thorny issue of a new operating system.  I so dislike app based systems and much prefer a classic look.  I can fix that too but sheesh.

Finally, there's the fact that many of my most loved programs probably won't work on a newer machine, being obsolete themselves.  Not really any workarounds for those... it's like saying goodbye to old friends.

In the interregnum between the young pretender taking over fully, and the old master being laid to rest, the two will have to form an uneasy alliance while I painstakingly transfer files, set up new accounts etc.  Having gone through this process before I know just how fraught and frustrating it can be.  And don't even get me started on the printer, which is a belligerent old bugger, and despite it's apparent loathing for the old laptop, I know it will fight tooth and inkjet cartridge to avoid transferring its allegiance to the new. 

Buckle up buttercups, it's going to be a bumpy ride...

Is it that time already....?

 Yikes.... it's been almost 2 months since my last post and I have literally NO IDEA where the time has gone.

Here's a rough timeline of the past 8 weeks:

Sewing, pressing, sewing.

Packing, more packing

Lovely holiday

Home... stress, worry, more stress

Bedlam, bedlam, bedlam

More bedlam

Battle to the death with DWP and HMRC

Laptop on its last legs...

So that's you more or less up to date.  

Apart from my ongoing feud with officialdom, my latest challenge is down to my admittedly very elderly laptop, which has been limping along for months now.  Yesterday the trackpad stopped working completely, and although I'm using an emergency mouse, everything's all messed up and it's a nightmare to use.  So I'm going to have to bite the bullet and spring for a new laptop, which is a whole other world of pain and frustration.

Now that I'm no longer running a business, I don't need anything flashy or highly specced.  The days of my creating video content and doing online tutorials etc are thankfully over.  But there are approaching eleventy hundred different models which fit my brief and whittling them down is proving a nightmare of epic proportions.  Even those online laptop guides, or sites with a 'helpful' wizard to identify the right laptop just aren't giving me consistent results.  I only hope that by the time I've decided and made a purchase my old laptop is still just about useable so I can transfer stuff over.  

In the meantime....

Cutting it fine....Part 8

 So.

The damned trousers are finally finished, apart from needing to be pressed again to within an inch of their lives, which is a task for another day.  I've finally hemmed them and will wait to try to them on till I've recovered from all the stress.

Yesterday at my sewing class I tackled grading the pattern for the top.  Or to be more precise, ONE of the several patterns for tops which I've accumulated over the past month.  They all bring something different to the party, and if I had the skill and the confidence I'd hack elements of them together in a Frankenpattern styley but I'm already losing the will to live so I've chosen just one of them.

Inevitably, just by using my tape measure, I could tell that the pattern, as it was, wasn't going to fit.  It was too big on the bust and too small on the hips, so I had to alter the darts then grade it from below the darts to the hemline.  

I made a new pattern, with the adjustments, and this morning I cut a toile from a remnant of the old dust sheet.  It didn't take long, just the darts, shoulders and side seams, and I was able to try it on.

Scene:  Sandra appears in the study, wearing the paint-spattered toile top, to ask for PP's opinion.

Me: *explaining* So obviously the neckline and armhole facings aren't there to provide structure, but I think the length's not too bad.  What do you think?

PP:*thoughtfully*  Hmmmmm.   Turn round.  It's a bit short at the back, and the neckline is too big.  It also highlights your humph.

Me:*eyes narrowed* My HUMPH?!

PP:*obliviously* Yes, your humpy bit.  Below your neck and across your shoulders.

Me:*with great restraint* Hmm. But APART from accentuating my humph,  and ALL the other shortcomings, how does it look?

PP:*makes a great show of standing up to have a closer look and having me turn round several times*  It shows your bra.

Me:*witheringly* But I won't be wearing this saggy old sports bra will I?

PP: *definitively* Well, I think you should add a half inch to the inside of the neckline and it would sit better.  It needs to be longer at the back too.

Me:*crestfallen* Buggrit.  I'll need to adjust the neckline facings too then, and they look quite complicated.....

PP has already sat down so Sandra walks disconsolately into the dining room to remove the toile and attempt to adjust the pattern again.

Me:*muttering* Bloody cheek.  Highlights my humph does it?  Who does she think I am.... Quasimodo?!  *mutter mutter mutter*

After much muttering, measuring, sighing, tracing and cutting, a new paper pattern emerges, along with new combined neck/armhole facings.

As for the back length issue, I'm minded to make the back piece one 'fabric tile' longer than the front and add side slits.  I might also add some plain bias binding on the slits, in one of the colours from the fabric, to make them a feature rather than an afterthought. 

However, the all in one neck and armhole facings are a whole new level of bamboozlement, as attaching them to the top involves twisting bits the wrong way round and inside out then funneling them the right way out through the tubes which have been created..... nah... me neither.

The online tutorial for the top includes a helpful video for the facings, which are described as 'tricky'.  I've watched it eleventy times and at points I'm almost convinced I get it, then boom.... no idea.

Anyway, I'm waiting for some interfacing to arrive, so I'm  not even going to attempt laying out the fabric yet as I have to centre it on a fold, front and back, and try to have a complete 'tile' at the shoulders and hem.

Remind me again.... who's idea was it to take up dressmaking and make a holiday wardrobe?

Cutting it fine..... Part 7

I expect you've all been on tenterhooks with regard to my trousers and I have been remiss in not providing an update.

So. 

The narrower elastic duly arrived last week, and I set about finishing the waistband.  The instructions said to thread the two rows of elastic through the channels AT THE SAME TIME.  If I hadn't read carefully I'd have blithely threaded them one at a time, which is surely what any sane person would do?

Apparently not, and I now know why.  Threading the second row would have been nigh on impossible with all the bunched up fabric from the first.  Although I have to say, threading through two at the same time was nigh on impossible too, as I kept inadvertently letting go of one of the safety pins inside one channel, while trying to level up the other.  The whole exercise took well over an hour, with eleventy separate violations for unladylike language and various threats to throw the whole bally lot out the window.

When the final safety pin emerged through the gap in the end of the channels I was so exhausted and bedraggled that al I could manage was a feeble 'whoop', rapidly followed by a  'Thank *expletive deleted* THAT's over!'

I still haven't worked up the enthusiasm to do the hems yet, but I did take the almost completed trousers to the dressmaking session on Wednesday, to finish hand-sewing the ends of the elastic together and closing the gaps in the channels.  I tentatively held them up to show the tutor and I think she was genuinely impressed.  Either that or she's a very good actress.  The other class members made similarly encouraging noises, possibly to make up for their lack of support during the whole 'toile disaster'.  So I was suitably mollified.

That just leaves my top, and with the clock ticking, and mindful of how long it's taken me to almost finish the trousers, I need to get cracking.

I have three different patterns for three different tops.  One is a square-necked,  boxy top, one is a round-necked, slightly fitted top, and the other is a round-necked, swing top.  The swing top is the easiest, but it has to be made in a 4-way stretch knit jersey fabric, and the material I already have is non-stretch woven, although it is very soft and drapey.   I've looked for a 4-way stretch knit jersey fabric and because they're mostly for gymwear, and children's pyjamas, the colours/patterns are garish.  I don't think neon space dinosaurs is quite the look I'm aiming for. 

The problem with the round-necked, slightly fitted top (apart from it having NINE pattern pieces)  is that according to the pattern, if I choose the size which fits me round the hips, the bustline will be so big it will be slipping off my shoulders.  Of course I now know that standard patterns have to be graded, and that my wonderful tutor will help me adjust it to fit.  However, the square-necked, boxy top is within a gnat's whisker of fitting me without major alterations, so I might just go with that.  Except square necklines are notoriously difficult to get the corners nice and crisp.  Plus it's got an all-in-one facing which is made up using the burrito method.  I've watched the video tutorial and my bamboozlement levels were stratospheric!

The lovely fabric I bought for the top was an end of roll sale remnant, so I can't get any more of it if I make a pig's ear of the whole thing, so I'm on the horns of a dilemma. 

Which one should I go for..... if any!  Answers on a postcard please.

Or should I just cut my losses and get one of these....

Holiday planning..... Part 1

I'm having the whole weekend off from the ongoing holiday wardrobe debacle and am turning my attention to our forthcoming holiday.  It's still a ways off but I do like to be prepared. 

My focus this weekend is swimwear, my least favourite holiday wardrobe item.  If I thought I could get away with it I'd go burkini or full body wetsuit, but the prospect of looking like a beached seal has put me off.

So I'm thinking maybe full-on retro 1950s swimsuit with built in buttressing.

I've also started to plan my extensive preparative deforestation and exfoliation programme, which will take some time, hampered by the fact I can't get to all the bits which need attention.  No idea why it isn't possible to go to a human jet wash service, where all the hair and dead skin is blasted off in one session, leaving skin fresh and smooth.

Then there's the matter of my winter-grey pallor.  Do I opt for a lick of colour from a light touch moisturiser with a hint of a tan, or go full on batshit crazy with a fake tan?  Self applied obviously.   

As a teenager in the 1970s, living in Scotland, I dallied with fake tan creams and lotions, because.... Scotland.  Aside from the legendary long, hot summer of 1976, you could usually only rely on maybe 3 or 4 days of sunshine in which to attempt a tan.  Of course every Scot would abandon all non-essential clothing and lay out in it, getting burnt to a crisp in the process.  Being Scottish, a few days later everyone looked like snakes shedding skin left, and centre.  If you were lucky, your crimson hue would mitigate into an approximation of a tan which would then wash off in the coming weeks of grey skies and rain.  Skin cancer wasn't even a thing back then.

These days, due to my MS, I avoid the sun, preferring to lounge in the shade so I rarely manage a tan.  However, winter grey skin is very unappealing, when compared to a glowing sun-kissed look, so I will have to resort to artificial means in order to avoid the gothic vampire vibe.  Thankfully, according to my research today, fake tan lotions and potions have come on in leaps and bounds since the 70s.   I might give a 'hint of a tint' moisturiser a go, rather than a fake tan product.  Last thing I want to do is end up looking Trumpian! 

Finally, there's the thorny issue of 'shapewear.  As in, should I or shouldn't I?  Over the years I've dallied with shapewear in all its guises.  I've even blogged about it.  I did a quick search just now and was dismayed to discover I've written about it a total of six times.

SIX TIMES!

If you're interested, and have half an hour to spare, you can read all of them HERE  

Think of them as The Shapewear Chronicles.  I can't guarantee you'll learn anything from my extensive research but it might make you think twice before entering the arena.   Anyway, I was listening to Women's Hour on the radio in the car earlier, and there was a piece about a new craze in shapewear.

Wait for it.....

Big bum knickers!!!

Honestly.  Knickers that make your Bum. Look. Bigger.  

Big bums are in fashion.  Who knew?  Obviously, when I got home, I Googled it and they are, indeed, A Thing.

But it doesn't stop there.... no by no nonny no. As if having a gargantuan bum isn't enough, you can also have 'enhanced' saddlebag thighs!

Back in the day I believe these were called 'fat suits' and being swathed in pounds of padding doesn't sound like the most comfortable form of underwear but what do I know?  

The current craze for a Brazilian Butt Lift obviously has a lot to answer for but it's gratifying to know that I don't need surgery or padded knickers to achieve 'The Look!'

Result! 

Cutting it fine..... Part 6

Yes.  

Yes I know.  At this rate the tale of my trouser making journey alone will read like War and Peace and I haven't even got round to starting my holiday top yet.  *sigh*

Dispiritingly, my optimism about the elastic channels was completely unfounded.  According to the instructions,  BOTH lengths of elastic had to be fed through the channels at the same time otherwise it would be impossible.  Turns out it was impossible anyway as the tiny tolerance in the channels was too small so I simply couldn't thread them through.

In a strop, I yanked out the few inches of elastic I had managed to wiggle inside then sat morosely, contemplating my diminishing options.  Which were:

1.  Unpick ALL the waistband channeling seams and start again.

2. Throw the damned trousers in the bin and let's never speak of them again.

3. Buy slightly narrower elastic.

Option one was never really a runner.  It would have taken hours and I'd likely have poked my seam ripper thingy through the waistband in several places and completely ruined it.

Option two, though tempting, just didn't sit right with me.  At this point I'm six weeks into my trouser making 'journey' and have endured failure and mortification at every turn.  Nevertheless, this close to the end I felt disinclined to throw in the towel.

So option three it was and I have ordered some flat elastic which should arrive tomorrow.  

During this enforced hiatus, I decided to start thinking about my holiday top, which is a very simple, straightforward sleeveless, boxy top with a round neckline.  I bought the pattern online and had the PDF printed by a dressmaking pattern printing service.

I've had the fabric for weeks now... a soft crinkle crepe viscose, in colours to complement my trousers.  I didn't think about it at the time, but the fabric is directional, top to bottom AND side to side, which complicates things enormously, as I'll have to make sure that the front is perfectly centred and the back piece will have to run in the same direction from shoulders to hem, also centred.

The purples in the fabric exactly match my trousers.

Then there's the small matter of double inside bind neck and armhole facings, neither of which I've done before.

There is supposed to be a separate hem facing along the bottom edge too, but I'm going to dispense with that as it would be a nightmare trying to exactly match up the pattern, but I'll have to add extra length to compensate.  

I'm also going to try to make side slits, because HIPS.

I've laid the pattern sheets out on the dining room table prior to cutting out the bits I'm going to need and am devastated to discover that there are nine different pieces. 

NINE!!!!!

Not as I fondly imagined, looking at the pattern illustration a mere two.... front and back.

Four of the pieces will be cut from iron-on vilene to stabilise the neck and armholes.  Then there are another three long strips which have to be cut on the bias to form the neck and armhole facings.   I just hope that I have enough fabric as the bias strips will take up a lot of space, and I'm going to have to juggle the front and back pieces to be symmetrical and directional.   

There is no cutting layout diagram with the pattern, which is just as well, as it would be pointless.  Looking at the front and back pattern pieces I'm inclined to make a basic toile with the remnants of the old dustsheet as they look a bit big, even allowing for seam allowances and bust darts.  A toile will enable me to judge how much length to add. 

It all seems to be one step forward, three steps back at the moment......

Cutting it fine.... Part 5

I've taken a run at my trousers over the past few days.  The curved crutch seam was easier than I had anticipated and I was able to use my sewing machine to stitch the seam, then my new overlocker to seal the raw edges.  The fabric is wonderfully soft and drapes beautifully but it frays like buggery, so I was keen to get all the raw edges overlocked as soon as possible.

As I predicted, the inseam pockets were an absolute nightmare.  I pinned and basted them every which way, infuriatingly incapable of understanding the instructions no matter how many times I read them.  But until the outside leg seams were sewn I just couldn't get my head around the method of construction, which seemed completely counter-intuitive.  Eventually I just took the plunge and did what I thought seemed correct, even though it didn't seem to be exactly what the instructions described.

I then had to finaigle the pocket pieces into position and seam them, then overlock, which was just sooooo tricky with all the seams coming together at different points in a small area.  However, once I'd turned them right way out, and fiddled further with the pockets, I could see that they were mostly correct, although the top edges would have to be sewn onto the waistband casing. 

The waistband casing was also bamboozling, even though I did sort of understand that it would have to be sewn on right sides out, upside down, on the outside of the trousers.  

Like..... really?!

I spent ages checking and double checking that I had it right, as I was going to use the overlocker to stitch the seam and overlock all the many raw edges at the same time, so a mistake at that point would have been catastrophic and the trousers would almost certainly have ended up in the bin!

Eventually I worked up the courage to do it... very slowly, inch by inch, checking all the layers were in the right place and the damned pockets weren't facing the wrong direction.  The main issue with an overlocker I've discovered, is that unlike a sewing machine, you can't really see exactly where the needles or the edge of the fabric are as there's so much machinery in the way.  I just had to ignore the needles, the long foot, cutters and loopers and concentrate on feeding the fabric through in as straight a line as possible.

Thankfully, having spent absolute ages double checking the overlocker settings on spare scraps of fabrics, the overlocked seam was perfect, and after carefully pressing all the remaining seams I found, to my surprise, that I'd made a pair of trousers, with inseam pockets both going the right direction!

The next step was to make two channels in the waistband for two rows of flat elastic.  I measured the relevant distance from the top of the waistband and stitched as directed.  Then I discovered that my overlocked seam took more of the fabric than a single stitched seam and that I had barely a millimetre of tolerance between each of the two channels.

My elastic was 3/4" wide and the space for the channels was exactly 1  1/2"

Buggrit.  Buggrit.  BUGGRIT!

Annoyed that having second guessed myself since the start, I'd dropped the ball so close to the end, I thought momentarily of unpicking the top casing seam, but had a brainwave and set about pressing the trouser/waistband seam to within an inch of its life.  Then I pinned the elastic onto the outside of the waistband, flush with the seam, and stitched right up against it.  In theory this should give just enough room to insert two rows of the flat elastic, with the added advantage that it shouldn't be able to twist. I'd have to dispense with the other row of stitching between the bottom row of elastic and the waist seam, but I didn't think that would matter too much, as the overall width of the waistband was correct.

Now to find a safety pin big enough to thread the elastic through the tight-fit channels!  It will be touch and go I think.....

Cutting it fine..... Part 4

Hmm... so, in retrospect, I should have started my resurgent dressmaking journey with something other than trousers.  They look so easy don't they?  Basically two tubes of fabric joined in the middle.  We wear them every day and sort of assume we know how they work.  I've been making them in miniature for more years than I care to remember, although, to be fair, the legs were always cut on the fold and they didn't have pockets or elasticated waistbands.

Well, I now have a whole new respect for actual trouser makers.  Trousers are tricksy buggers and devilishly difficult when dissected into their component parts which don't bear any resemblance to the finished item.

I should have started with a top.  Front. Back. Simple. 

Having prevaricated and procrastinated for the past week, I finally bit the bullet today and set about cutting out my trousers, according to my revised toile pattern.   It took several hours before I so much as put scissors to fabric.  I must have checked my pattern layout eleventy times, heeding the old adage about measuring once, cutting twice as I only had enough fabric for no mistakes.

I can't say my cuts were smooth and straight.  The drapey fabric was slippery and kept moving around on the table, despite my weighting it down with a few strategically placed plant pots.  However, I did eventually end up with two trouser fronts, two trouser backs, two pairs of pockets and one waistband casing. 

Despite being advertised as an 'easy' pattern, the instructions bamboozled me.  I must have pinned and re-pinned each front and back a dozen times, constantly checking if I had the correct front/back and if the right/wrong side was facing the right/wrong way.  If second guessing oneself was an Olympic sport I'd have won several gold medals today. 

Counter-intuitively, I had to pin a front and back together, rather than the two centre fronts.  I suspect that's due to the inseam pockets in the sides, which are a problem for another day.  Thus far I've sewn exactly two seams and overlocked the raw edges, which was a mission in itself.  Now I'll carefully press my not exactly straight inside leg seams before moving onto the far trickier crotch seam, which is all on a curve.  Not unlike my own learning curve which is currently vertical!

Sheesh! 

Cutting it fine....Part 3

 So.

I had my third dressmaking and tailoring session today.  I took my huge nappy and waited patiently while the tutor got everyone else underway with their sewing projects. 

I explained about my first toile, and her eyebrows lifted.  I showed her my revised toile and her eyebrows shot off the top of her head and are probably in orbit.  

Scene:  Tutor's lovely seafront flat with a commanding view of huge waves breaking onto the beach.

Me:*tentatively* So this is my second toile. I had to make another as the first didn't fit all...... *trailing off*

Tutor:*incredulously* And THIS one does?!?!

Me:*quietly* yes

Tutor:*appraisingly* Hmmm.... you ARE quite an odd shape, aren't you?

Tittering from the other students.

Me:*stolidly* Obviously.  Sort of Weeble-shaped.

More tittering from the other students. 

Tutor : *disbelievingly, holding up the big nappy for everyone to see* And THIS fits?

Me:*downcast but rallying"  Yes. Yes it does.

Tutor: *warmly* Well done!  To make a new toile absolutely from scratch.... that's brilliant! Well done.

Me:

Other students:

Me:*cautiously*  Sooooo.. it's alright then? I can carry on....?

Tutor:*reassuringly* Yes.  Just carry on with preparing the pattern, pin the toile to the.......

At this point I was so relieved I stopped listening.  I'd been dreading it being all wrong and having to start again.   I felt quietly pleased with myself.  Despite being an odd shape I had triumphed. 

Cutting it fine.... Part 2

After breakfast this morning, I set about making a second toile for my trousers, using the new pattern I created yesterday.

Following one false start when I inadvertently sewed the two fronts together instead of a front and back, which necessitated unpicking the machine sewn seams, I finally achieved a toile which looked how it should.  Essentially another big nappy but with a higher rise.  After pressing all the seams and turning it right side out, I snuck quietly into the bedroom to try it on.

For lo... instead of the waistline coming up to my armpits, which looked completely feasible due to the size of it, my new toile did actually fit.  The top of the centre front seam came up to my waist, and the top of the centre back seam also came up to my waist.  I was unable to repress a little squeal of excitement, then PP appeared in the doorway.

Now, I'll admit I must have looked a sight.  Standing there in my grey socks, winter white legs poking out of a huge nappy, but her rolling around on the bed laughing her head off wasn't quite the reaction I'd been hoping for. 

She laughed uproariously, subsided into fits of giggles, then just as she was getting a grip, I turned round so she could have a rear view and she laughed so hard I thought she'd need oxygen. 

Scene: Bedroom.  Sandra stands disconsolately in front of the mirror, clutching the waistline of her huge nappy. Stumpy legs ending in a pair of grey woolly socks.  On the bed, PP is gasping for breath, unable to suppress gales of laughter at the sight in front of her.

Me: *shortly* Yeah, yeah... all right.  I know you think it's funny.  But I've spent nearly two days on this so a bit of encouragement wouldn't go amiss.

PP:*gurgling in an attempt to stem the rising tide of giggles* Turn round so I can see the back.

Me:*dubiously* There... see?  It comes up to my waist at the back and....

PP:*incapable of movement, tears running down her face* Well, yes.  But the legs....  *she dissolves into laughter again*

Me:*indignantly* The legs don't matter for this.  Just the trousers from the crotch up to the waist. 

PP:*struggling for control* I know that, but the legs will be ENORMOUS!

Me:*curtly* They're WIDE LEG evening trousers.  And the fabric I've chosen will  drape and flow, as opposed to this paint spattered dust sheet fabric.   Plus, without the waistband in place, you're not getting an accurate impression of how they will look when they're finished.

PP:*gasping* Alright.  But you know I asked you to make me some?  Well I've changed my mind.

Me: *sharply* Good. 

Sandra struggles out of the huge nappy, trying to rescue what remains of her dignity. She carefully folds the toile, after marking it as the corrected size.  She'll take it, and the first toile to the next dressmaking session, along with her revised pattern piece for the top of the trousers. A determined look settles on her face as she squares her shoulders and makes a solemn vow...

Me: *resolutely* I'm going to make these damned trousers if it bloody well kills me.

To be continued.....

Cutting it fine.....

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was going to start going to dressmaking classes, run by a lovely lady from U3A.  I had my first session this week and went along full of enthusiasm, clutching patterns and fabric for the first two pieces of my summer holiday wardrobe.  I've decided to start off with very straightforward, flowing, wide leg trousers, and a simple sleeveless top.  No zips, buttons or fastenings of any kind to bamboozle and flummox me.

The tutor explained that she'd have to take extensive measurements firsts, as I'd be adjusting the pattern to my size before I even thought about cutting out my fabrics.  Fair enough, I thought.

Now I probably should explain at this point, that I do have a definite shape.  And that shape is Weeble.

Or, in fashion parlance, I'm pear shaped. Although to be fair, I do have a bit of what I laughingly call my waist, somewhere in the middle, but it's all downhill from there.  

Anyway, the measuring process took up most of the session.  Apparently trousers, even ones with elasticated waists are quite tricky.  Who knew?  After comparing my measurements with the actual paper pattern, the tutor declared that she'd have to add 3 inches to the 'rise', front and back.  I do prefer high rise trousers, but  while they're often ok at the front, they usually gape at the back.   If I was shaped like a washboard they'd have been fine, but to accommodate my womanly curves *cough* the pattern would have to be adjusted.  The rest of the session was taken up with making a new paper pattern, from which I was to make a 'toile'.

A toile is a prototype or fitting version of a garment that's made up in an inexpensive fabric so that the design can be tested and perfected. The name comes from the fabric of the same name that was originally used in their construction – a translucent linen or cotton fabric.

So, this morning I decided to set about it, and spent a while up the shed, dodging spiders and trying to find an old bed sheet which I'd used when decorating.  Ok, so it has a few paint spatters on it, but I didn't think that would matter.  After several hours, some of which were spent trying to identify a problem with my admittedly ancient sewing machine, I managed to construct a toile of the top section of the trousers, which looked disconcertingly like a huge nappy.  Of course the waist was too big, as it was missing its elasticated waistband, and there were no legs as they were irrelevant because it was the waist to crutch area which needed adjusting.

I duly pressed the big nappy and tried it on.  If I pulled it up to my waist at the front, the centre back was more than halfway down my bum.  And vice versa.  I felt crushed.

After a cup of tea and a biscuit, and a good moan to PP about how rubbish I was at dressmaking and why on earth hadn't she advised me not to, and she said she had, but of course I'd got a bee in my bonnet about making clothes and had disregarded both her and Small Dog's admonishments to completely abandon the whole idea.

Unburdened and refreshed, I decided to make a completely new toile so watched eleventy different You Tube videos which all suggested slightly different methods.   Luckily I'd bought some pattern paper so it was the work of a mere 3 hours to produce new pattern pieces, which look a bit odd so I'm not convinced they're going to work properly either.  I haven't enough life in me to attempt another toile today so tomorrow I'll get back to it and see how the next disaster pans out.  

At this rate I'll still be making them while on the beach on holiday...  *sigh*

To be continued.....

Kits & More....!

Following on from the recent reveal of my 2023 Advent Box, I've been sorting through the aftermath and have been able to complete extras of a few of the kits.  I always end up with some extras, especially on the trickier precision cut ones.  So, I've been able to make up a few boxes with a selection of the spare kits and have listed them for sale on a UK craft sellers website called Aviarto.

The boxes only contain the kits shown above and do not include the kits for the illuminated circus shop  booth, or the toy dolls or several of the other toy kits which made up the whole.

However, when made up, the kits selection will look like this....

Perfect for display in a children's nursery or toy shop setting!

You can find the assorted kits boxes HERE

In addition to the circus/animal kits, I've also listed a few of my remaining kits, including the wonderful Fairy Tales Toy Theatre... a  miniature wooden theatre with changeable scenery and a cast of cleverly magnetised character from well-loved fairy tales.   Also available are two of my mignonette toy dolls, Primrose and Bella.  

Last but not least, I still have just a few copies of my book, Making Miniature Mignonette Dolls available.  I will not be having another reprint, so these final copies will be the last.  I'm bundling them with a free kit to make a little litho printed Jumeau doll on a wooden block... perfect for a nursery or toy shop display.

I'm gradually working through more minis and kits which I'll list on my Aviarto page in due course, so do bookmark it and check back regularly for any new additions. 😊

Projects Central....

When I retired last year, I worried about what I was going to do to fill my time.  I've always worked and the prospect of days filled with no purpose filled me with dread.  Of course I usually have several craft projects on the go at any one time, but even when I was working full-time they didn't take all of my spare attention and energy.

So I joined my local U3A.  For those unfamiliar, the University of the Third Age is an international movement aimed at encouraging retired people to share their knowledge, skills and interests in a friendly environment.

At the last count, my local U3A has over 60 different interest groups, ranging from analytical philosophy to current affairs, birdwatching to gardening, Qigong to Mahjong... as well as dozens of others.

I gravitated towards the various craft groups, but found that the ones I wanted to join were full, with lengthy waiting lists. Undeterred I contacted the groups convenor who provided me with all the information needed to start my own.  My Creative Crafts group will be one year old this May and has coalesced into a lovely little group of like-minded ladies.  We meet once a month and tackle a different craft each time.  They've mostly been successful, with the exception of the needle felted mouse.  I don't think I've ever laughed so much as we ended up with a whole menagerie, none of which looked remotely mouselike!  I think first prize went to the duck-billed platypus. 😄

I've also recently started another group, Short Form Fiction where we concentrate on one form each month, discussing examples at the session, then writing our own pieces in the same style over the following month, to read and discuss at the next.  It's going well so far and the group is gelling nicely. I might, at some point drop my own efforts here...

However, since deciding to take up dressmaking again,  I've been scouring the interweb for useful YouTube videos (spoiler - there are eleventy million related to all aspects of making clothes), downloading tutorials etc, in the possibly vain hope that I don't end up with a one-size-fits-nobody 'shaipless sak'!  I'd already perused the U3A groups list, but the Dressmaking & Tailoring group was full.   More in hope than expectation I contacted the lady who runs it and asked to be put on her waiting list.  A few day later I received a reply saying she'd had a place unexpectedly come up and would I like to join!

So in the next week or so, I will be making a supervised start on my summer wardrobe, beginning with some simple tops and trousers, then possibly, more ambitiously, a jumpsuit. I've already bought some super easy patterns, and some lovely fabrics.  Of course I also need coordinating accessories so I'm also going to have a go at making some jewellery, from both polymer clay and wet felted beads.  

Again, I will post the results of my efforts in due course if they're suitable for public exhibition. The thing about trying new crafts is that it's impossible to turn out anything half decent on the first few attempts, so I will have to work through the initial dispiriting trials and failures before I resolve all the problems which I'm certain to encounter.

I now have NO IDEA why I thought I'd be stuck for stuff to do....!

Turravee taken.....

Scots vernacular - Turravee; a wild, extravagant mood, a strange turn, an odd notion or fancy

The other day I took a turravee and decided to re-organise my workroom craft room.

Again.

I've lost count of how many times I've done this over the 20 years we've lived in this house, but each time I do, I'm convinced that it will be the last one and that the room will be absolutely perfect.  

An oasis of creative calm, with a place for everything and everything in its place.  Will I NEVER learn?

Scene: Sandra's craft room.  I've pulled everything out of all the miscellaneous boxes and drawers and am standing on the only free 30cm square of space, looking around disconsolately.  A small furry presence gradually materialises in the doorway....

Small Dog (for it is she): Bluddy hell murm.... whott is itt ThISs tyme?  Ai karnt evin gett inn and aim nonkorpawreal!

Me:*quickly clearing a space on the chair* Oh SD.  Am I glad to see you!  Well, as you can see I'm...

SD: *interrupting* Ai kan sea whott yure doen.  Maken a unnholey mes ass yewsule. 

Me:*dispiritedly* Well, yes.  I started to tidy up and it got out of hand. 

SD: *sceptically* Fourgiv me... aim kno eckspert on tydien upp butt shudent the rume luke bettr aftur?

Me: *quietly* Yes.  Yes it should.  And it will.  I'm in that no woman's land between making the mess and resolving it.

SD: *quizzically* Hmm... and houws thatt goen?

Me: *resignedly* Badly.  I need more storage and...

SD:*implacably* KNO!  Yue du knott nead moar stoarij.  Yue nead less StUF!  Ai thott yue wer dounsighsen?

Me:*warily* I am.  But I now run a craft group, plus I'm going to take up dressmaking again and I DO NEED STUFF!

SD: *astonishedly* DrESMaKeN?!?!  Yure goen to maik kloaths?

Me: *assertively* Yes.  I used to make my own clothes when I was in my teens and now that I'm retired I'd like to take it up again.  It's so much easier now... lots of YouTube videos and tutorials, many more shortcuts, sewing aids and gadgets.

SD:

Me:

SD *carefully* Hmm... ar yue shure?  Ai meen... yure a odd shaip.  Sortt of rownd with bitts sticken owt.  Ar shaipliss saks in fashun att the momint?

Me: *huffily* Right, that's enough.  I'll admit that haute couture tailoring is beyond my skillset, but I'm sure I can knock up a flattering jumpsuit, or flowing trousers and tops.  Shorts even. I'm going to make some for my holiday.

SD: *sniggering* Okai.... butt doant sai ai dident worrn yue. Inn the meentym, yude bettr starrt kleerin up thiss mes.  

Me:*crestfallen* A little bit of encouragement wouldn't go amiss SD.  I know I'm always coming up with madcap ideas and hairbrained schemes, but I will keep it simple and I'm sure I can manage to make a few nice outfits in my newly re-organised sewing room.

SD: *gently* Yess aim shure yue wil.  Ai wos onlie pullen yure legg.  Yue ar alwais veri kreativ and when yue starrt sumthen yue alwais see it thrue.  Ai luke forwerd to seein yore knue owtfitts.

Me: *resolvedly* Thank you SD.  I will take all you've said on board and look forward to revealing my holiday wardrobe in due course.  In the meantime I need to order some pretty storage boxes for all my sewing stuff.  So lovely to see you....

SD gradually fades away, and Sandra quietly closes the door on the mess and sets about some online retail therapy.....

Lions and tigers and bears....Oh My!

With Christmas now a fast receding memory, I can now reveal the contents of my 2023 Advent Box.

This is finished piece, made up from the 25 kits, a colourful illuminated circus booth stall filled to bursting with lots of circus and animal themed kits, plus two new doll kits which I designed specially for the box.

I have a few additional individual kits left over so I'm going to make up some mixed packs and offer them for sale later this month.  I've also been rooting through more of my boxes and will have more things to sell which I've been hanging onto but will likely never use so I'll add them to the list too.

So.... watch this space!