So.
Here we are, already over half way through the year. How on earth did that happen? Seems like only yesterday I was at the start of the year with twelve months spread out before me, ripe with possiblities.
Of course, that was then. This is now.
Being ill derailed me for months, during which time I completely lost my mojo in almost all areas of my creative life. I didn't set foot in my lovely craft room for weeks on end, as it just felt too dispiriting.
My few attempts at anything minitature related failed miserably, which weren't just dispiriting, they were downright depressing. So I sort of gave up. The only creative endeavour at which I persevered was crochet, and even then my results were lacklustre.
Of course, my malaise wasn't purely due to my being unwell. We're now almost 5 years into what is often innacurately described as a 'cancer journey'. It's not a journey... for me, a journey conjures images of a trip through stunning scenery... rolling hills and sunlit uplands, glimpses of sparkling blue sea, with vistas opening up to glorious expanses of coastline.
THAT'S a journey!
A much better description would be 'cancer slog'. An exhausting endurance trek from trial to tribulation, with only the occasional temporary reprieve and light relief from the soul-sapping quagmire of daily existence.
Nihilistic? Moi?!?
So yes, I have most definitely been very down in the dumps. My normal resilience has worn paper-thin and as a result it's been difficult to find much pleasure in the things which usually make my heart sing.
But.
Recently I've been feeling a glimmer of interest in resuming some of my languishing projects. I've unearthed all the little dolls which have been boxed up, waiting for their hair and hats.
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| Semi-dressed dolls awaiting wigs and bonnets |
I've also found the components for some kits from many years back so I'm playing around with ideas for those. And I've been looking in my boxes of 'stuff I should have finished ages ago' with fresh eyes and tentatively renewed enthusiasm.
Quite how long this will last is anybody's guess, but I'm seizing on this unexpected creative positivity with both hands and imploring the universe to comply.
4 comments:
Dear Sandra, I am so sorry to hear you have been ill, and even worse... depressed... it does pull the joy out of everything. I am glad to hear there is light returning and energy for the little things! My sister had cancer and has been a survivor now for fifteen years! And just in case I never told you, when she comes to visit (not often enough) our Favorite activity is dressing your little dolls! (I have bought a few kits over the years and some undressed little dolls too....) We sit at the kitchen table with the lace and ribbons and sewing things and cups of tea and have a ball! We never get the little ones all finished in one visit (usually only 24 hours long) but they wait patiently in my (still incomplete) Castle dollhouse until the next visit... The current pair are about half-way done (after two entire visits) and are named "Grace" and "Dolly". Your creations have brought us countless hours of joy! thank you for that! And I very much hope your health will continue to improve!
Awww... thanks Betsy. It does make me happy to know that my little dolls spread joy to others... so pleased that you and your sister enjoy dressing them too. Good to hear that your sister is doing well... PP's cancer was in remission for two years but last year we discovered that there was a recurrence and since then she's had 6 month's of treatment and ongoing therapy. I think it's partly the constant uncertainty which is so debilitating, along with everything else. I'm definitely feeling better though. I've even been working on the mini doll's house shop..... eeeek!
I am so glad to hear you are feeling mini delight (in small ways!) in spite of the health challenges. My son (who lives with me) has many health challenges... we just spent a day in Boston for an MRI... routine, of course... but still! ... so I have an inkling of the challenges you have to deal with. It can be overwhelming. Mostly the minis help me keep my head "above water" as the saying goes! Hang in there... or "Keep Calm and Make Minis"... did you find that box for the shop yet? :):):)
Ah... that doll's house shop is definitely a mission! Those tiny things take ages just to find!!! But I am making headway... slowly.
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