Friday, 17 July 2015

RIP Good Printer.....

I suppose it had to happen someday.  After all, machines in general, and printers in particular have a limited lifespan.  There would never be a good time for my best, most favourite printer to give up the ghost, but why did it have to happen today when I have a barrowload of printing to do?

Long-time readers of this blog will know that printers and I have a chequered past.  For example, almost exactly three years ago I posted THIS, and a search for printer based posts reveals a staggering catalogue of invective-filled grief.

The 'bad', multifunction printer has been on borrowed time for longer than I can remember.  It's only because we have two that it hasn't been relegated to the great cartridge shuffler in the sky years ago.  In computer years it's very ancient and has been on death row for ages. It's bad-tempered, contrary and bears a grudge.  Not to mention it doesn't print, scan or copy without a hugely dramatic diva-like performance.  It's like the Sarah Bernhardt of the printer world

By comparison, the 'good', print-only machine has been relatively trouble-free, only occasionally coming under the malign influence of the bad printer, and even then it always apologised profusely and worked doubly hard to make up for any indiscretions.

There had been no indication that it was ailing.  Only the other day it turned out a batch of 12 page, double-sided, full colour instruction booklets without a murmur.  Which was why what happened this morning was so shockingly unexpected.

I needed to print out an invoice.  Single page.  Standard quality.  No colour.  Simple.
Everything seemed fine.  It switched on, shuffled its cartridges (as they do) and waited to print.  Drew down the paper, all as normal, then an odd error message appeared on my screen and the printer's lights started flashing all at once and then...... and then *sob*....

It died.

There was a sort of muffled bang, and a bit of a fizzle, and when I checked the power cord there were a few sparks.

I think it was a heart attack.  Or possibly a stroke. We tried to give it life-saving treatment... checked the diagnostics, fuse, plug, socket, leads....turned it upside down and gave it a bit of a shake.... all to no avail.  

It had gone.

I am bereft.

It doesn't help that the bad printer is now looking unbearably smug.  Although, to be fair, perhaps in deference to my grief it has stepped up to the mark and deigned to print a few sheets without throwing a hissy fit like it usually does.  

However, with no less than four workshops to prepare for I must have a reliable, good quality printer, so having done some quick research, we've ordered a replacement, which we'll pick up on Sunday.

I'm thinking of having a Viking funeral for my loyal Canon..... it's the least it deserves.

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