Transcript of a conversation between myself and Small Dog this morning.
Me: (emerging from the shower room swathed in towels) What are you doing in there? I only just made the bed.
SD: (yawn, stretch ) Whott tym doo yue kol this?
Me: (unimpressed) Time you were out of MY bed you lazy little tyke!
SD: (fixing me with a hard stare) MUURRRMM! Ai thinc yue wil fynd it is the weakennd and if yue luke in mai termss and kondishuns itt kleerli staits ai am alowd tue hav a lyin.
Me: Bollocks Small Dog. Get out of that bed now!
SD: (sulkily) Ai wil gett upp in a minnitt. Just as sune as ai hear sumthen delishus goen intew my brekkfast bole.