I think I must be missing the female clothes shopping gene. I don't mind shopping for stuff for the house, or the caravan, or the garden, or Small Dog, but I HATE shopping for clothes.
I mind it marginally less than I did a year or so ago, having dropped several dress sizes, but it is still mired with difficulties.
Today I set out with the intention of buying a pair of black jeans. Nothing fancy, nothing expensive nothing out of the ordinary..... just plain bootcut black jeans, size 14 (short).
It's tempting to assume that 90% of the female population of Hastings & St. Leonards are a size 14 as there were absolutely none in my size. Dozens of pairs size 6-8 and dozens of pairs size 20-28 but not much in between and no 14s at all.
Except for jeggings.
As I'm not at the cutting edge of sartorial elegance I had no idea what jeggings are, but I'm guessing some marketing bod came up with the word to describe a cross between jeans and leggings. There were racks and racks of them in every conceivable size, from 6 (which is probably the only size they look even remotely good on) up to 28.
Don't get me wrong. Having been within a waffer-thin snippet of size 20 years back I know that larger, curvaceous women have an uphill struggle to find flattering clothes that fit.
But jeggings in a size 28..... I ask you?
In the spirit of investigation into this new phenomenon I tried on a pair.
It wasn't easy. Just getting them over my ankles required contortions of which a circus performer would be proud. While struggling to pull them up over my thighs and hips I wondered if they shouldn't come pre-greased to ease them on.
I hasten to add that they were my size and they did fit.
But they made me look like a burst sausage. Not a good look.... even for a sausage.
Peeling them off was just as traumatic and I had to sit on the bench in the changing room for several minutes to regain both my breath and equilibrium. Perhaps that's the point of them..... they're the clothing equivalent of a full body workout.
After witnessing the humiliating sight of my lower portions in jeggings I didn't have the heart for any more shopping so my quest for a pair of bog standard black bootcut jeans continues.