I sometimes say..."Hmm... I've had an idea. I need a hoojamaflip with a basic reciprocating flange socket on the left side. Can you make me one?"
She will look thoughtful, go off, there will be some banging/sawing/drilling noises (possibly interspersed with some colourful language) and some time later she will re-appear with a perfectly functional hoojamaflip with an IMPROVED rotating, oscillating, reciprocating flange socket.
Recently she has turned her inventive skills towards saving us £££'s, which is most welcome, especially after recently having to fund the purchase of magic knickers and the like. She is already making our washing powder for just a few pence, which works just as well as the most expensive stuff from Tesco.
Yesterday, after extensive research, she set about making liquid handwash. For quite a while there were sounds of industry from the kitchen.... chopping, macerating and whizzing, eventually followed by bubbling, boiling noises. Closely followed by some
cackling giggling, which alerted me the fact that things might be going awry.
The secret ingredients (which not even I am allowed to know) had started out in our smallest saucepan. However the resulting 'matter' expanded, grew and spread till eventually it escaped and had to be contained in ever larger pans.
In no time at all she ran out of pans and had to resort to filling a flower vase and assorted tupperware containers, including one empty handwash bottle, conscripted from an upstairs bathroom, which promptly melted as the stuff was too hot.
This is a small amount of the handwash
Eventually the stuff ran out of steam and stopped expanding and after watching it suspiciously for some time, PP decided that it was safe to start pouring it into a motley collection of random bottles, including empty milk cartons, water bottles etc.
This rapidly proved easier said than done. Whatever the 'stuff' was, it didn't exhibit any of the normal properties of liquid.
For one thing it could flow uphill.
I was of the opinion that she'd invented a completely new material, previously unknown to science and should set about obtaining a patent. It might have no end of uses, from medical to military.
We all stood around regarding it.....
It was very viscous. Positively elastic. This spoonful stayed like that for ages.....
After a while it CLIMBED BACK UP the spoon.........
Before hanging on tenaciously for what felt like forever.
By this time we were getting a bit scared of it, so I was volunteered to test it out and see if it actually worked as handwash. To say I was sceptical was putting it midly. For all I knew I would slither all over me, block my airways and suffocate me.
Persuading any of it out of the vase was a delicate task, as it had tired of escaping and was hellbent on remaining en masse. Eventually I gathered about a teaspoonful and carefully rubbed it into my hands, before rinsing them thoroughly.
Fortunately my skin didn't melt off. Indeed it left my hands feeling lovely and silky, which after several weeks of porcelain casting followed by the same amount of soft cleaning is no mean feat, as my hands were like sandpaper.
After leaving it to cool overnight, this morning PP diluted it and poured it into a variety of bottles. I think we have about five litres.
She posted her endeavours on FB, and another 'frugaller' reported that her children call the stuff she makes 'Troll Snot'.
Which seemed the perfect label to stop unsuspecting visitors taking a swig from any of the full to overflowing milk carton and water bottles. We are now self sufficient in handwash for the next three years.