SD: (incredulously) Caik? And WYNE? Fore a sik grandmuthr? She neads auntie biotix. Knott wyne and caik.
Me: (patiently) It's a fairy story. Personally I totally approve. What an excellent mummy!
SD: Humph. When is it mai turnn?
SD: (seductively) Well helloo yung ladie. Ar yue goen mai wai. Wokk with me.
Me: "You wicked creature!" With one blow of his axe he killed the wolf and pulled him out of the bed....."
SD: (alarmed) Whooahh.... wateaminitt! Whotts happnin?
Me: "Then Little Red Riding Hood's father cut open the wolf and out jumped Little Red Riding Hood. He then helped the grandmother out. She was still alive but very weak.
SD: (incredulous) STILL ALIVE! Ai gobbuled her up. WHOA! Whott kind of storie is this fore children. Itts unbeleevibl!
Me: (doggedly) "They put the grandmother into bed and gave her some cake and wine. Soon she was sitting up and feeling much better.
SD: (incensed) Caik and wyne? Mutsh bettr? Whott abowt the poore wolf. With its entrales spredd orl ovur the flore. This is a stewpid storie and aim knott playen enimoar.
GF: Shhhhhssssskkksssss *giggle*
Me: Right.... that's it. Story time is over. Let's have a walk up the garden.....
SD: (brightening) A wok? Up the gardin? Ai mite fined a skwirrl....!