I had to be up at stupid o'clock this morning and due to an over-enthusiastic internal body clock, was actually wide awake an hour before the allotted stupid time.
Crawled out of bed, determined to put the additional hour to good use by getting all the usual morning stuff done good and early, so that I could go into town well before my dentist appointment *shudder* and try to find an outfit suitable for a family wedding later this month.
I HATE SHOPPING!
Especially clothes shopping. I didn't used to mind it when I was a lithe and lissome size 10 as I could generally find any number of potential items, and even if I didn't like them when tried on, at least there was a better than evens chance that they would fit and look good.
Nowadays everything has changed.
In line with my advancing years, my body has gone into a sort of glacial decline, with whole continents gradually going south. I've had a brief dalliance with the optimistically named 'shapewear' last year when I had to squeeze into a sheath-like beaded dress for a murder mystery evening, but the results were less than edifying.
I've come to the conclusion that to be really successful with shapewear, you have to be a decent shape to start with.
But I digress. Wedding wear is really difficult to get right. I know I will end up either ridiculously overdressed, or too 'bag lady' casual. Are there ANY rules for what to wear to a wedding these days?
It's going to be a traditional Scottish wedding, so most of the men will be in kilts. It's hard to compete with a man in a kilt. Instead of a sea of sober suits, enlivened only by the odd colourful tie or waistcoat, against which even the dowdiest woman will stand out, there will be a plethora of colourful tartans, sporrans, sgian dhus, glimmering silver buttons and shiny black brogues. So you've really got to go some to come up to the mark.
Then there's the weather to consider. September in Scotland is invariably an unknown quantity. It might be really hot and sunny, or cold and wet, or foggy, or windy.......or even a combination of all six within the space of a few hours. But one thing is certain. However I am dressed, it will be wrong.
If I wear something flimsy with no jacket there will be a cruel, biting wind to scarify my goose-pimpled flesh.
If I go for a warm, cover-up ensemble, it will be 32 degrees and the sun will beat down mercilessly for the duration.
Are trousers permissible? Can I get away without wearing a jacket? Do I have to wear a hat?
Or even....... a fascinator? *shudder* Shoes or sandals? Heels are out due to my propensity to fall over if my balance is disturbed but I do have a gorgeous pair of flattish Italian leather shoes (£4 from a Bexhill charity shop!) which look outrageously expensive and are as soft as Small Dog's ears. So perhaps I should build the outfit around them?
Anyway, I had intended to make a foray into Debenhams this morning to suffer the indignity of having the shop assistants look down their noses at me as I struggle in and out of a succession of unsuitable outfits. However apparently my dentist is indisposed so my appointment has been moved, courtesy of a phone call very early this morning.
So I am now on the horns of a dilemma. Should I venture into town anyway to see what I can find, or put it off till tomorrow?
All suggestions gratefully received.