Friday, 8 July 2011


It has been brought to my attention by a few of you who have managed to tear themselves away from the cornucopia of displacement activity delights on THIS website, that surviving for a paltry 31 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor is not a matter for celebration.

Apparently, some of you could manage to survive for up to 1 minute and 44 seconds and seem to think that this is something of which to be proud.

I disagree.

Remember that both you AND the velociraptor are chained to the bunk bed, therefore you are both in it for the long haul. 

And believe me, 1 minute and 44 seconds filled with unbearable agony and abject terror would indeed feel like a very long haul.

I've been back and tried again, this time exaggerating my fighting prowess, my experience in dealing with hopeless situations, not fainting at the sight of blood etc and admittedly I did fare better than 31 seconds but not by much.  Which leads me to believe that anyone getting a score of 1 minute 44 seconds must be lying to their back teeth and, more to the point, not taking the thing seriously at all.

Incidentally, as one who worries constantly about my ability to survive a zombie apocalypse...

The Zombie Bite Calculator

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