Thursday, 10 June 2010

World Cup ennui.............

So finally, after weeks and weeks of escalating excitement, the World Cup kicks off later tonight with a star-studded concert, before the first matches take place tomorrow.

I am already fed up to the back teeth with it all.

The only plus is that Tesco will be a barren wasteland during pivotal games, with only the occasional ball of tumbleweed, rolling morosely down the deserted aisles.

No unwashed hordes.
No screaming children
No checkout queues.


Except for the plethora of St. George's tat, masquerading as essential England supporter's kit.
It isn't even restricted to the entry aisles, where shelf upon shelf of mainly plastic rubbish, all emblazoned with St George's Cross, compete with cut-price, belly-busting buckets of tortillas and vats of beer.

You can even, if you are so inclined, purchase England supporter's teeth.


Elsewhere in the store you're equally hard pushed to find anything which isn't somehow linked to the upcoming football fest, with even the most innocuous packaging literally flying the flag.

With stunning originality, Tesco has pulled out all the culinary stops and is offering a World Cup Meal Deal consisting of a pizza and two bottles of beer.

What sort of meal is THAT?!

The madness is due to last for a month. That's 4 whole weeks of a roller-coaster ride of hope and optimism, immediately followed by and a black hole of despair.

At least for England fans.


I'm determined to see NONE of it, except possibly by accident when flicking through the TV channels trying to avoid anything even remotely football related.

God help us all.


Lara said...

I am looking forward to shopping when football is on tv. It is so quiet. No tv for me during those weeks either. Hope I can do a lot of mini-ing :-)

rosanna said...

Alas hubby is a huge football fan !! I might cry !! but I can always go out for a walk or to the cinema. Looking forward to the END of it.Yes, God help us all.

Deep Squeaker said...

Oh. My. GOD.

It is a hideous facade of xenophobic RUBBISH and I will be having NONE of it.

I pray to the Gods that they get kicked out in the first round.

Basically, what is WRONG with a country when you further deify a bunch of disgustingly overpaid Neanderthals to run around grunting, kicking a ball for 90 minutes and basically ruining a perfectly good lawn?

I may be missing the point. Perhaps my xenophobic gene is busted. Perhaps I am a bitter, twisted ex-pat Scot (I don't care if I weren't BORNED there, that is what I am) but I dinnae get it. It's STOOPID and you're right, when I walked into the local Co-Op the other day and saw BAGS. OF. SALAD. LEAVES. with Three Lions on them, and the potential pleasure of paying an additional 96p for the honour of buying leafs with a football-tastic flavour (I assume that's the bonus you get for buying them? Like, 'mmmmm... Pigskin-tastic') I nearly got my lighter out and set fire to the whole sordid product-placed TAT that APPARENTLY re-defines a population so direly in need of national identity that hastily shoving an 'IN-GER-LUND' sticker on your radishes will give you a warm glow inside.


I will write a blog post on this soon.


PS The validation word verification code for this comment is 'CACKwme'.

Think on.

julie campbell said...

Somebody save me from the world cup ....please !!!
The excitement has been mounting between my husband and stepson for weeks while my son and I shake our heads wearily.
last night the house was turned upside down in the search for a huge flag that said stepson planned to hang from the house......strangely this has dissappeared I wonder where it could be ?
julie ;0)