Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Desk tidy......

I think I might have to take some time out today to tidy my desk in the office......

When it comes to paperwork, I'm definitely a 'piler'.

It usually starts well enough. 

A pile of Urgent Stuff
A pile of Not Immediately Urgent But Getting That Way
A pile of Not At All Urgent But DONT' Throw Away
A pile of Can't Decide What Do Do With 

And so on.... you get the idea.  But inevitably, about two days into this damn fine system, something happens and all the piles miraculously combine to create the current mess.

If you're thinking (and you probably are) "Bloody Hell Sandra.... call THAT a mess?!  You should see MY office desk, it's feet high in piles of paperwork.  I'd give my eye teeth for a desk as tidy as that...."

Ah, but what you can see here is the tip of the iceberg.  There are further piles behind the laptop, under the desk, to the side of the desk, behind my chair, beside the printer, on top of the printer..... and so it goes on.

So at some point today I fully intend to restore order to all the various piles of paperwork.

Which brings me to the vexed subject of 'assistants'. There has been some discussion on one of the artisan forums about trying to recruit some pixies to assist with stuff like this. Personally, I find that pixies are overrated.  They have the attention span of a gnat.  

Elves are better, but they're very hot on terms of employment,  their working environment and the like.  It's very hard to keep them happy and in my experience they inevitably form a union and go on strike.

Don't even THINK about fairies.  They leave trails of glitter everywhere and can only stick at a task for a few minutes before they've got to go and shine their wings, or replenish their fairy dust.

As long-term blog readers might recall, I do actually have some otherworldly assistants in the form of Vern and Malcolm, my displacement goblins.

Well..... I SAY they're assistants.  They don't ever seem to do much in the way of assisting, as can be seen HERE or HERE.

However as I'm currently up to my eyelashes in Stuff To Do, I thought they might be drafted in to help with clearing my office desk.

I don't know WHAT I was thinking......  They cleared precisely two empty envelopes into the bin before discovering my calculator and settling down to work out how much back pay they're owed.  I don't know what devilishly difficult calculus or algorithm they used but apparently, between them, they're due £5863.14 for what they allude to as 'services rendered'.

If these 'services' related to lackadaisical loafing, inert indolence and nonchalant napping, not to mention no end of mucking about and horsing around, then I'd be grudgingly forced to agree.  However with regard to doing anything remotely useful they're on a hiding to nothing.  Which, coincidentally, is what I calculate they're owed.

We're at something of an impasse as they're now refusing to lift a horny, taloned claw until their demands are met.  Small Dog, who has her own 'employment issues' is watching with interest.

So.... there's nothing else for it.  I'm going to have to roll up my sleeves, clear a very large space and get on with the desk clearance myself.

*deep, heartfelt sigh*

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