I really need to crack on with my tax return. I've finished the annual accounts but I'm engaged in a bit of head-scratching on what I can reasonably claim as allowable business expenses.
For example, the moat is in desperate need of a thorough cleanout, not to mention the chandelier which requires specialist cleaning.
Small dog's swimming pool requires urgent maintenance as wisteria is tumbling into it from the castellated chimneys. Not only that, we have moles, or possibly renegade badgers, who are digging up the croquet lawn.........
Initially, as the list of our MP's expenses were leaked, I maintained a world weary stance......the most I could muster was a disinterested 'meh'.
However as the revelations have become more and more bizarre and outrageous I have become incandescent with rage and disbelief.
These people earn very respectable salaries by UK standards. OK, so many of them do have to have London crash pads if their constituencies are more than a few hours commute and are entitled to reasonable allowances for same, but it's a travesty that tax payers are having to foot the bill for swimming pool cleaning, moat draining and the like.
I mean, for goodness sake...........MOAT cleaning!!!!!!!!!
I don't know how many MP's actually need a base in London, but it beggars belief that a more equable system, which wasn't open to widespread abuse, couldn't be devised and implemented.
For those of us mere mortals struggling to make ends meet, battered by near zero interest on savings and unsure of where and when the next financial crisis is going to impact on our lives, this 'I'm all right Jack' attitude shown my our elected representatives is akin to a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
Surely someday soon, the proletariat are going to emerge, zombie-like from the morass, and the ''ruling classes will feel our damp, dank fingers fasten firmly on their windpipes.........
Or we could just vote them all out of existence and become anarchists.