I've bought a wig off Ebay for our Halloween party tonight.
Don't know what I was thinking...... it was a triumph of hope over expectation.
In the listing photo it looked fantastic. Described as Morticia Black Widow Witch Sorceress Wig Halloween the photo showed a fantastic creation with glossy black and red tendrils reminiscent of Medusa.
I was convinced it would instantly transform me into a sultry ravishing creature...
The Ebay listing WOULD have been bang on, had it described the wig as "Flat Matted Rat's Nest Dragged Through A Hedge Backwards".
I spent an hour last night trying to get it to even vaguely resemble the photo on the pack, with the aid of half a can of hairspray. If it wasn't flammable before (which it was) it will go up like a rocket if I even get within a foot of a candle flame tonight.
I've even had a go it with a pair of nail scissors, which, if I'm honest, hasn't improved it any.
Anyway, here's what it should look like.
Needless to say the wig looks nothing like that, and I look nothing like the model. Even if I was photoshopped to within an inch of my life I wouldn't look anything like her. If I'm lucky I might just carry off a moderately successful resemblance to Danny La Rue.
Don't even get me started on the false eyelashes. I had a trial run with them earlier and Small Dog nearly had a conniption fit when she saw me.
I don't expect to survive the evening with even a modicum of dignity intact, but hopefully at least everyone else will look equally hilarious.
Photos may (or may not) be forthcoming in the fullness of time.....