I've totally had it with new technology which promises the earth and delivers bugger all.
When we had our new kitchen fitted a few years back (conscientious followers will remember the sturm and drang) we bought an 'all singing, all dancing' new oven.
Amongst its myriad features was the fact that it claimed to be self-cleaning.
Pshaw,pish, tush etc.........
It SO ISN'T self cleaning.
Even Small Dog, who has no pretensions to be self cleaning keeps herself cleaner.
Seeing as how we have a multitude of friends descending tomorrow for our Halloween Party, and as our kitchen is right in the middle of the house, rather than off on a spur where we can hide away while we get all the food ready, there will inevitably be people IN the kitchen while we are cooking and serving.
This is not a problem, in and of itself, except I happened to take a close look at the inside the oven today, to see if it would bear close inspection, secure in the knowledge that a self-cleaning oven should be pristine and gleaming.
An hour later, after scrubbing and scouring our 'self cleaning' oven, I'd had enough.
So I've sacked it. Sir Alan Sugar had nothing on me as I gave it its marching orders.
Self cleaning oven my a*s**........ *mutter, expletive deleted, mutter*