My grannie was a great one for 'sayings'.
No matter what the event, trial or tribulation, she would nod her head sagely and trot out one of her sayings. Mostly they were completely apt, and always they were indisputable.
If she could see the state of our house today, I've no doubt she'd have a plethora of pithy sayings, completely appropriate for the occasion.
I expect that 'guddle' (Noun-- Scottish slang for "a mess") would probably feature prominently.
As would 'clarty' ( Adj-- meaning dirty,unkempt as in-- He could dae wae a guid wash, that clarty auld bastart. Often used in conjuction with guddle, as in-- "See hur... hur hoose is a right clarty guddle so it is. Pure mingin'")
However, I am sure that she would happily concur that camping gear is rarely pristine. Then add something about not being able to make an omelette without breaking eggs.
No matter .... all of the camping gear is gradually finding its way out into the caravan or the car and I'm trying to clean the house as it emerges from beneath the mounds of essential stuff.
PP has been working on a volume of instructions for our house sitters, with information on every piece of equipment in the house and garden, of which they might have a need. It runs to several pages of closely printed type so I hope they like a good, long read. They might even get to the end by the time we get back home.
Small Dog is reaching stratospheric heights of excitement. If she's not careful I think she might explode. I've sorted out her cupboard in the caravan and she has personally checked to see that I've packed the red leather collar with her name in 'diamontay' and her little bandanas. Not to mention an array of tasty treats.
Meanwhile I'm almost at the end of the mountain of ironing and have finished cleaning the van.....
I am SOOOOOO going to need a holiday at the end of all this!