Sunday, 19 December 2010

Global tracking system.........

Had a lovely, long, luxurious lie-in this morning, safe in the knowledge that there wouldn't be any postal delivery up our road unless the PO are issuing posties with crampons.

I was thus reassured that I wouldn't have to stumble downstairs in baggy striped pyjamas, ancient moth-eaten dressing gown and hair all sticking up in peaks and horns.

All of the slush from yesterday has frozen solid into razor-sharp ruts and as I write it is snowing.



I've been tracking the progress of some of my Christmas presents using the Fedex "How Lost Is Your Parcel?" facility.


As you can see, it took a mere 2 days to travel from Schenzen Province in China, to Stansted Airport, via Paris.  Not bad going I think you'll agree..... being whisked thousands of miles from pillar to post in record time. 

However it is now languishing at the 'destination sort facility - Stansted' where it may possibly wait for several days before being loaded onto the Express Delivery horse and cart, ready for its 8 day journey to deepest, darkest East Sussex.

I'm not holding my breath.

Anyway, what imbecile orders stuff from China just 10 days before Christmas?

The imbecile that thinks, as she is ordering from a UK website, here in the UK, with everything in English and £ pounds and NO MENTION AT ALL that the items in question will be sent from Schenzen Province, via Guangzhou, via Paris, that 10 days is a perfectly reasonable period of time in which to receive aforementioned order.

What is it?

Well....... *lowers voice to barely audible whisper* I have to be circumspect, as PP just might read this, but it's a working model of a Chinese lion.

With fur and everything.

It roars and runs around the room, possibly causing mayhem and giving Small Dog a fit of the vapours but's Christmas, and I know that PP will just LOVE it.

It even works off the mains, which will be a great saving on the cost of the 38 large batteries required if it is to be used outdoors.

Anyway, it will more than likely arrive in time for Easter, and our first planned outing in the caravan.  It's sure to attract attention on the campsite......

Speaking of global tracking systems, I'm fairly sure I've blogged THIS before, but they've updated their website with all manner of (jingle) bells and whistles.

You would think, in these times of heightened security levels and the constant threat of terrorism, that NORAD would have better things to do than track Santa Claus on Christmas Eve but there you go.

I love the way they put a big 'We Are HERE!" star on the map so that Al-Qaeda can more accurately pinpoint their location while they've got all their resources taken up with tracking Santa.

The website is an absolute mine of fascinating information.  

For example:

"NORAD uses four high-tech systems to track Santa – radar, satellites, Santa Cams and fighter jets."

Fighter jets?!!!!

"The fourth system is made up of fighter jets. Canadian NORAD fighter pilots flying the CF-18 intercept and welcome Santa to North America. In the United States, American NORAD fighter pilots in either the F-15 or the F-16 get the thrill of flying alongside Santa and his famous reindeer: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and, of course, Rudolph."

As if the old boy doesn't have enough trouble with run-of-the-mill commercial air traffic.......


Yes, you've guessed it.  

It's Displacement Activity Sunday.


Ascension said...

Un avion con un perfecto blanco, no pasara inadvertido.
besitos ascension

Sandra Morris said...

It's only a matter of time Ascension...